To all the men I loved before

The title of this post is not my own. Its an old song by Julio Iglesias, the father of the present day Enrique Iglesias. Well, this post is dedicated to all the men I loved before. How thoughtful of the singer to hold no grudges and dedicate a song to certain aspects of the past that we wish to bury and forget. Today as I stand on the threshold of a new year and while bidding adieu to the passing twenties, I would like to be grateful for all of them that were once part of my life. Maybe it did not work out well, maybe things were bitter, maybe . . . I can list many maybes but then they all helped me in different ways. I learnt many things. Small or meaningful, they sure contributed their part and today as I think back, I would say that 'glad that you came by and at a point made my life beautiful.'

For those who do not know the song, here it is:

To all the girls I loved before - Julio Iglesias

To all the girls I've loved before
Who travelled in and out my door
I'm glad they came along
I dedicate this song
To all the girls I've loved before


To all the girls I once caressed
And may I say I've held the best
For helping me to grow
I owe a lot I know
To all the girls I've loved before


The winds of change are always blowing
And every time I try to stay
The winds of change continue blowing
And they just carry me away


To all the girls who shared my life
Who now are someone else's wives
I'm glad they came along
I dedicate this song
To all the girls I've loved before


To all the girls who cared for me
Who filled my nights with ecstasy
They live within my heart
I'll always be a part
Of all the girls I've loved before

The winds of change are always blowing
And every time I try to stay
The winds of change continue blowing
And they just carry me away

To all the girls we've loved before
Who travelled in and out our doors
We're glad they came along
We dedicate this song
To all the girls we've loved before

To all the girls we've loved before
Who travelled in and out our doors
We're glad they came along
We dedicate this song
To all the girls we've loved before

Two heady days

The conference just got over. I could not ask for more. My paper went on well and the overall feedback about things were good. Met a lot of new people form different places. Learnt new words and ideas. Critisised like crazy and laughed like there was no tomorrow. I am so very thankful for the opportunity and to my guide who made these things happen.

I am indeed indebted to everyone who were part of this conference.

Coercing to write gratitude

I just wrote in my other blog a post titled 'Existential Angst.' How can I write something like that when there are so many things in life to be thankful about. This seems like an alter ego in operation. Few minutes after posting that entry, I venture to crawl over here and admonish the other 'me.' Why do I do it? Very human. Perhaps thats why man clings on to god for he never can change. He is the same. The same when we were four and the same when we shall be fifty. There is a strange peace in that thought. He can never change. How wonderful. In spite of everything how does one comprehend such love. I would love to be like that. Same. I know that as a person I should and will evolve but then the basic me. Can I keep it intact? Can I be loving towards my friend who has betrayed me. Can I not curse the person who knew that I was vulnerable and ventured too personal. Can I forgive my fellow being who has been not-so-good with me. If I choose to be non-violent and prove to be a child of my god, I should be like that. Forgiving. Loving. Peace loving.

This is a blog exclusively for gratitude but what am I writing here. I am thankful for many things here. Today morning's paper had Usha Jesudasan's article about the ahimsa way. I am thankful to her for gradually showing me to be peaceful and forgiving. This post also extends a forgiveness to all those who were not-so-good with me in the past. I am no one to hold grudges. I forgive you from the depths - in word, deed and thought. If my life permits that we should meet again, I would be glad to sit down with you and tell you that 'you made a difference.'

Glowing with Gratitude

Nothing can bring a glowing pride to a teacher than the thought that you have given something invaluable to your student. 2007 saw me teaching in a professional engineering College as a substitute for another teacher. I was supposed to teach there for about a month. I had an assortment of students from different branches of engineering. The month passed by giving me some lovely memories as always.

Yesterday after a tired day I was traveling in the train from Tambaram when I chanced to meet one of the students I taught in that College. We both were very happy to see each other after two years. She shared with me something beautiful that touched me left, right and center. She narrated how in one of my classes i had asked the students to list out their favourite hobbies. She said that hers was poetry-writing and when one of the guys in the class heard this, he told it to one of his friends in the hostel about this girl and in the process a girl and a guy from two different departments absolutely unconnected had become friends and remain friends till date. This revelation makes me happy and grateful. I still can remember the twinkle in her eye when she said: "Ma'am you don't know how much you mean to me. You have given me my best friend."

What more does a teacher want. That the students get something valuable from life through the classes.

The Readers who pause for me

This blog of mine is a very personal one. I never thought anyone could be remotely interested in a blog where I note my gratitude. But surprises are always pleasant. This post is for the readers who stumble upon this blog, pause to read the small rememberences of mine and linger enough to comment. A cosy hug and a heartfelt thanks for stopping by. You have no idea as to how your one-line comments pep me up and prod me to write. Kadambari, Sameera, Swapna and the others whose names I don't know -- Thank You.

This kind of interaction is a pleasure.

Thank You for the music

This post is quite a random one but nevertheless a heartfelt one. Down my timeline there have been many wonderful people I met who were friends, aquaintances, boyfriends, lovers, fellow bloggers and others. Even though sometimes the relationship was quite a brief one, these individuals have introduced me to some amazing music for which I can never be thankful enough. There have been artistes whose music I can never get in a 'normal' music store but then the music would have been something that kindled me enough to shed copious tears, love fearlessly, eat shamelessly, fight gracefully, etc. I can go on and on with this but then I stop for fear of being quite explicit (which I can be).

I remember all those individuals today and offer a silent thanks for the music they loved and listened to and in the process of life passed it on to me. I have been doing the same. Passing on the music I like to people. In doing that I pass on a part of myself to them and the knowledge that they still have that music assures me that I am with them -- though not physically and in talking terms, I am with them.

I could mention the names here for I remember each and everyone but it does not matter.

Am I less grateful

I have not been filling this blog. Does my other blog attract me more? Precisely. All the things that touch us are the ones that are given the least preference. I can list inumerable things on a daily basis but then I succumb to the usual suspets: procrastination, et al.

I got my driving licence today. How I got it and the process makes me feel very humbled. Do I deserve it? I know better. Sometimes the things that the heart wants hapens but are we worthy to be given all that we want? Not always.

This post is for all of them who enabled me to go through the process of the whole driving lessons+practice+licence.

Heartfelt thanks.