As I move on . . .

As I slowly trudge on the last few days of the year, I would like to express my gratitude to everyone who walked along with me. I dedicate this prayer to you from the depths of my heart. May the season's joy and peace fill and keep you in the days and years to come. 

 

Earth Teach Me to Remember by John Yellow Lark

Earth teach me stillness
as the grasses are stilled with light.
Earth teach me suffering
as old stones suffer with memory.
Earth teach me humility
as blossoms are humble with beginning.
Earth Teach me caring
as the mother who secures her young.
Earth teach me courage
as the tree which stands alone.
Earth teach me limitation
as the ant which crawls on the ground.
Earth teach me freedom
as the eagle which soars in the sky.
Earth teach me resignation
as the leaves which die in the fall.
Earth teach me regeneration
as the seed which rises in the spring.
Earth teach me to forget myself
as melted snow forgets its life.
Earth teach me to remember kindness
as dry fields weep in the rain.

Ute, North American

Sunday, 20 December 2009

Today I am filled with gratitude for:

1. Being my usual self in spite of the restlessness in my mind
2. Opening my self to someone I love
3. Not allowing guilt to colour my emotional well-being
4. For the lovely rich plum cake
5. Sitting by the window and marveling at the snapshots passing by
6. Having met some nice bloggies in the by gone week
7. Learning to understand people for what they are and not restricting them according to my personality.

All the above points are related except for 4 and 6. Its difficult to allow people to let them be as they are for many-a-times I try to objectify them from my perspective. Today gradually I accepted how to respect the other person's personality. It seems ages since I first learnt this and the present -- the actual time of implementing the learnt. I am grateful for this and I hope that I  learn to master this truth.

Knowledge . . .

You know sometimes I come across people who say: "I wish I knew how to read and write . . ." It saddens me that they are deprived of the most important aspect that liberates - The ability to read and write. Today I am thankful that I am in a position to read, write and also think. Certain things in life are taken so much for granted that seldom we pause to think that we would be different individuals if we did not have the priveleges we so enjoy. Stopping by to relish and be grateful makes life worth living.

The weather now . . .

The last post was about feeling under the weather but today am feeling on top of the world, rather. I am so grateful for the lovely weather. Its a relief to feel the chilly breeze and the balmy air. Finally we have respite from the heat and sweat of the summer season. The seasons, their cycles never fail to amuse and amaze me.

I am so happy for winter is here and I am grateful to be able to feel and experience it.

Under the weather

I came back home this morning after a hectic two day field work for my research. I am so glad for the home I have where I can return after a tired and excruciating journey. I arrived here sore, drained and with fever. I have been lying down the whole day and my lovely sister is taking so much care of me. I cannot tell this to her because we all presume its natural to be taken care of while we are sick but then I am filled with gratitude as she heats the water at regular intervals, massages my back and makes food for me. My mom, who is a working woman has entrusted me with my sister till she comes back home. I am indeed blessed to have people like my sis and mom to sustain and care.

Home is a place of comfort, nourishment and security and for me its the most vital part of my survival.

Signs

Sometimes we know that doing certain things are not very good for you. But yet we do it on various pretexts like emotional attachment, impulsiveness, boredom, etc. I am no different. I tend to do certain things but then eventually realise that I should not have done them. 

But then there are the signs which at every point tell us that we ought to steer clear of things that bring us down. Today this post is written in gratitude to the signs that are given to me at every point of my life. I am glad that I am not immune to these signs which never cease to warn me. I thank my Lord for these signs through which he speaks to me - they are either by his words, people, incidents and instincts.

I wonder what I would be doing without these signs which so wonderfully lead me in unsure times.

Thank-You

I admit its difficult to find titles for the blog posts which expresses my gratefulness for life's numerous acts of kindness. The title for today's post is again from the heart. Today I am thinking of various people without whom life's daily passage would be incomplete.

The man who presses my clothes
The vegetable-seller
The people who collect our garbage
The woman who helps us at home with the clothes
The milk-seller
The lady who sells fruits
The people from the electricity, civil department who attend to whenever we call
The newspaper boy

All these people carry on with the tasks assigned to them and most of the times we take them for granted but only when they don't come, we realise how indispensable they are to us and our smooth living. When these people help us in the fringes, we can carry on with life gladly. I am glad that they are there for us.

For the song . . .

In one of the blogs I'd visited, I came across the song 'You needed me,' and immediately went to Youtube to listen to the version of Anne Murray. To my surprise I had known this song from a very long time but did not know the lyrics nor the history behind the song. When I listened to the song, there was a vague stirring within me. The song touches the innermost being and gives an assurance that is unparalleled.

The song writer Randy Goodrum says of this song:

"It was sort of an unconditional undeserved love. How could you love me as if I'm perfect, when I'm not? It was a disclaimer, sort of, for the other person. How could you need me? It's not exactly the same premise as 'I wouldn't belong to a club who'd have me as a member,' but it's a small sliver of unconditional love, which to me is a broad piece of pizza that you can take a lot of minute slivers from along the way. I've always thought that songs, even positive songs, needed to have a certain amount of shadow in them for the light to be significant. And I think too many songwriters are afraid to offend the world, and they never write anything dramatic. They never put anything negative. But to me, you can have negative in a song, as long as there's a ray of hope somewhere. Maybe a way out. Not a saccharine, syrupy way out. It's like in a movie where you see somebody locked in a cave, and suddenly they see a rock fall away and they see a little piece of light come in, they say, 'Ah, maybe if I work really hard I can get out that way.'"

Unconditional love is something that all of us strive for. This song just talks about that. I guess no one can give this sort of an assurance except for god who seems to be there always.

I am grateful for the person who wrote about this song in the blog.
I am grateful that I have someone to believe in who shall not let me down.

Great is thy faithfulness

There is a lovely Christian hymn that goes like this:

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father;
There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not;
As Thou hast been, Thou forever will be. 


This song was penned by Thomas O. Chisholm. The excerpt above is not the entire song but one stanza alone. Whenever I hum this song or sing it, it fills me immense joy as I know that whatever might change or go wrong, there is someone who is the same. Critics may argue whatever but the personal faith that has been with me sustains, envelops and consoles me in dire straits.

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!



The beauty of this hymn lies in the manifold ways it can assure me. When in sorrow, this song strengthens me; when happy, this song uplifts me; when doubtful, this song kindles my faith and above all it enables me to feel the presence of my Lord with me.


Summer and winter and springtime and harvest,
Sun, moon and stars in their courses above
Join with all nature in manifold witness
To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.

This blog is exclusively for gratitude and this song encompasses all gratefulness.
   
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

I guess no one else can provide this kind of a faithfulness. EVER. 

Thanks for standing by me

November to August gave me sleepless nights and unstable emotional fluctuations. I sailed through them but I could not have if some of these people weren't there. Mind you, this support was not only from friends whom I knew well but they were also from my many online friends who in spite of not having met me took time for me. These lovely people spent their most precious asset on me - TIME. I am so glad that the sacred enabled me to know these people both real time and online. They gave me the courage to go on, stand up and above all -BELIEVE in myself.


The dear ones who  went through the  path with me. I wouldn't know  how I would have managed without you:
Veena
Seema
Valli
Ann 
Brother Francline 
My sister Lydi
Johnson 

My online friends who were strangers to me but at the same time knew how to comfort, sustain and give courage:
Andrea
Shahid
JD
SJ
SS 

The birds and snakes too

today i went bird-watching with a couple of friends and colleagues. it was a great experience to identify birds, insects, snakes, butterflies and other organisms. when people complain of having no time, i am glad that i could set apart time for looking and observing species i would have never ventured to see at other times. i marvel at the creation with its dappled, speckled and lovely splendour. i am so grateful for this day and the lovely experience that it unfolded.

i also learnt to be patient and quiet while stepping into the habitat of these birds who are very sensitive to intruders. the various calls that signify territory-marking, mating, nesting and others were pointed out to me.

Hopeland i owe this day to you. thanks.

Feel

I am so glad that I can feel the breeze blowing on to my face, ruffling my hair and giving a sense of joy joy.
I am happy to feel the tingling cold water sting my toes and arouse me of my slumber.
I am overwhelmed to just FEEL and grateful that my senses so amaze me always.

Overwhelmed beyond my capacity and grateful too

Those wishes, those calls, those messages: They were all indeed a remainder of how thoughtful people are. How much ever I seem to lose hope, I have no reason to.

I am so so so grateful for all of them and to all of them who made my 20s memorable and as I ushered the 30s in, made sure that they gave me the hope, wishes, prayers and joy to move on confidently forward.

Words sure are not sufficient to express my thankfulness (read gratefulness) to my god who has surrounded me with lovely beings.

To all the men I loved before

The title of this post is not my own. Its an old song by Julio Iglesias, the father of the present day Enrique Iglesias. Well, this post is dedicated to all the men I loved before. How thoughtful of the singer to hold no grudges and dedicate a song to certain aspects of the past that we wish to bury and forget. Today as I stand on the threshold of a new year and while bidding adieu to the passing twenties, I would like to be grateful for all of them that were once part of my life. Maybe it did not work out well, maybe things were bitter, maybe . . . I can list many maybes but then they all helped me in different ways. I learnt many things. Small or meaningful, they sure contributed their part and today as I think back, I would say that 'glad that you came by and at a point made my life beautiful.'

For those who do not know the song, here it is:

To all the girls I loved before - Julio Iglesias

To all the girls I've loved before
Who travelled in and out my door
I'm glad they came along
I dedicate this song
To all the girls I've loved before


To all the girls I once caressed
And may I say I've held the best
For helping me to grow
I owe a lot I know
To all the girls I've loved before


The winds of change are always blowing
And every time I try to stay
The winds of change continue blowing
And they just carry me away


To all the girls who shared my life
Who now are someone else's wives
I'm glad they came along
I dedicate this song
To all the girls I've loved before


To all the girls who cared for me
Who filled my nights with ecstasy
They live within my heart
I'll always be a part
Of all the girls I've loved before

The winds of change are always blowing
And every time I try to stay
The winds of change continue blowing
And they just carry me away

To all the girls we've loved before
Who travelled in and out our doors
We're glad they came along
We dedicate this song
To all the girls we've loved before

To all the girls we've loved before
Who travelled in and out our doors
We're glad they came along
We dedicate this song
To all the girls we've loved before

Two heady days

The conference just got over. I could not ask for more. My paper went on well and the overall feedback about things were good. Met a lot of new people form different places. Learnt new words and ideas. Critisised like crazy and laughed like there was no tomorrow. I am so very thankful for the opportunity and to my guide who made these things happen.

I am indeed indebted to everyone who were part of this conference.

Coercing to write gratitude

I just wrote in my other blog a post titled 'Existential Angst.' How can I write something like that when there are so many things in life to be thankful about. This seems like an alter ego in operation. Few minutes after posting that entry, I venture to crawl over here and admonish the other 'me.' Why do I do it? Very human. Perhaps thats why man clings on to god for he never can change. He is the same. The same when we were four and the same when we shall be fifty. There is a strange peace in that thought. He can never change. How wonderful. In spite of everything how does one comprehend such love. I would love to be like that. Same. I know that as a person I should and will evolve but then the basic me. Can I keep it intact? Can I be loving towards my friend who has betrayed me. Can I not curse the person who knew that I was vulnerable and ventured too personal. Can I forgive my fellow being who has been not-so-good with me. If I choose to be non-violent and prove to be a child of my god, I should be like that. Forgiving. Loving. Peace loving.

This is a blog exclusively for gratitude but what am I writing here. I am thankful for many things here. Today morning's paper had Usha Jesudasan's article about the ahimsa way. I am thankful to her for gradually showing me to be peaceful and forgiving. This post also extends a forgiveness to all those who were not-so-good with me in the past. I am no one to hold grudges. I forgive you from the depths - in word, deed and thought. If my life permits that we should meet again, I would be glad to sit down with you and tell you that 'you made a difference.'

Glowing with Gratitude

Nothing can bring a glowing pride to a teacher than the thought that you have given something invaluable to your student. 2007 saw me teaching in a professional engineering College as a substitute for another teacher. I was supposed to teach there for about a month. I had an assortment of students from different branches of engineering. The month passed by giving me some lovely memories as always.

Yesterday after a tired day I was traveling in the train from Tambaram when I chanced to meet one of the students I taught in that College. We both were very happy to see each other after two years. She shared with me something beautiful that touched me left, right and center. She narrated how in one of my classes i had asked the students to list out their favourite hobbies. She said that hers was poetry-writing and when one of the guys in the class heard this, he told it to one of his friends in the hostel about this girl and in the process a girl and a guy from two different departments absolutely unconnected had become friends and remain friends till date. This revelation makes me happy and grateful. I still can remember the twinkle in her eye when she said: "Ma'am you don't know how much you mean to me. You have given me my best friend."

What more does a teacher want. That the students get something valuable from life through the classes.

The Readers who pause for me

This blog of mine is a very personal one. I never thought anyone could be remotely interested in a blog where I note my gratitude. But surprises are always pleasant. This post is for the readers who stumble upon this blog, pause to read the small rememberences of mine and linger enough to comment. A cosy hug and a heartfelt thanks for stopping by. You have no idea as to how your one-line comments pep me up and prod me to write. Kadambari, Sameera, Swapna and the others whose names I don't know -- Thank You.

This kind of interaction is a pleasure.

Thank You for the music

This post is quite a random one but nevertheless a heartfelt one. Down my timeline there have been many wonderful people I met who were friends, aquaintances, boyfriends, lovers, fellow bloggers and others. Even though sometimes the relationship was quite a brief one, these individuals have introduced me to some amazing music for which I can never be thankful enough. There have been artistes whose music I can never get in a 'normal' music store but then the music would have been something that kindled me enough to shed copious tears, love fearlessly, eat shamelessly, fight gracefully, etc. I can go on and on with this but then I stop for fear of being quite explicit (which I can be).

I remember all those individuals today and offer a silent thanks for the music they loved and listened to and in the process of life passed it on to me. I have been doing the same. Passing on the music I like to people. In doing that I pass on a part of myself to them and the knowledge that they still have that music assures me that I am with them -- though not physically and in talking terms, I am with them.

I could mention the names here for I remember each and everyone but it does not matter.

Am I less grateful

I have not been filling this blog. Does my other blog attract me more? Precisely. All the things that touch us are the ones that are given the least preference. I can list inumerable things on a daily basis but then I succumb to the usual suspets: procrastination, et al.

I got my driving licence today. How I got it and the process makes me feel very humbled. Do I deserve it? I know better. Sometimes the things that the heart wants hapens but are we worthy to be given all that we want? Not always.

This post is for all of them who enabled me to go through the process of the whole driving lessons+practice+licence.

Heartfelt thanks.

My sister Lydi

I cannot be more grateful for having a sibling as Lydi. Even though our existence is punctuated with a lot of squabbles and quarrels, we share a very lovely relationship. Maybe lovely is too grandiose a word but then that's the word that comes to my mind first. She is there when I need to cry, to laugh and to introspect. I don't bare every single thing to her but whatever I do share, I know that she will listen and offer pragmatic insights. She stands in direct contrast with me, the romantic. But then, all of us have shades of different personality types which surface at different times. I thank the sacred for giving me someone as Lydi.

Calm

Today was a calm day where nothing 'big' or 'small' happened. I woke up late after what seemed ages. Had a late breakfast and waited for someone to come home. The lunch was another leisurely act. Breakfast and lunch was punctuated by a session of channel surfing; For a change, I even watched a bit of telly for a sustained period of ten minutes. I am grateful that today was not one of those hurried days where eating is for the sake of eating and resting is just a name's sake affair. A relaxed pace and restful hours marked my day today. I am glad for that.

A not-very-nice day at the bank

The morning started off well and I wanted that to sustain but then . . . I had a cheque with me and so had to go to the bank to encash the same. BUT it was not that easy. The signatures were not matching, the manager was hassled and I all the while was silently hoping and praying that I should not leave the bank without the cash for I had a lot of bills to be settled (not mine). The cheque made a few rounds before finally the seal 'Pay Cash' was stamped on it. What relief! I am truly grateful that I was able to leave the bank with the cash and not have wasted another day running around with the cheque and no money.

Waking up to the Sun

Yesterday's rains had left the spirit damp and the body lethargic. Rain has the wonderful quality of adding laziness to the already lazy persona. I am grateful that the sun has come up today and I can hear the birds and the squirrels run about. Yesterday all these sounds were missing. Rains can be a great in fantasy but in reality they can never match the imagination. They are a poor rendition of the imagined. I hope that many would agree with me on this.

Here comes the sun, there goes the rain . . .

A nice walk with Radio FM for company

well, i treasure my walks. they are something i look forward to. but alas! time is the constraint and i never get to walk much. today was the second day i managed to walk for one full hour listening to radio fm and swinging my arms away merrily. being out in the open is something that gets me refreshed and alive. i am happy that i made it today. sometimes it seems that being 'busy' is a choice that we make and if we really want to we can set apart time for doing the things we'd rather be doing. today was one such day. a free evening where i could just walk, hop, sing aloud and talk to the dogs on the way. and naturally being able to get an hour today makes me grateful, for tomorrow i do not know whether it shall happen.

so long.

Should I be thankful for this?

I honestly do not know whether I should jot this down. It seems selfish in a way but I am definitely grateful for this. Swine flu has touched base in my College. The College has closed down till the 27th of August. Fear pervades all minds. That my mind is without fear and that I am sitting cosy at home is something I am happy and thankful for this morning.

Life gives us mundane reasons to be grateful for but do we acknowledge them?

The reason is you

Long ago, my friend and I started a gratitude journal where we used to pen down all the aspects we were grateful for in our life. We were not very regular with it but then the journal provided us the time to mull and jot down the various things in our life that we were happy for and sometimes take for granted.

This blog is something like that. I want to take time on an everyday basis and jot down something I am grateful for each day. Now I wonder about filling the page everyday but then does not life offer us ample opportunities to do you.

Let me start with this today: I am grateful that I am able to write.

More to come.

I am what I am because of life's myriad gifts to me and I am truly grateful for every single thing.